‘How to make a Yorkshireman cry - quite simple really, tell him he's going shopping.’
‘The Cat's Protection League woman came tripping down the garden path. My G&T was promptly whipped out of my hand and hidden in the cupboard. Obviously cats cannot be re-homed where there is Mother's Ruin.’
‘Which brings me on to the subject of astro-physics. Ha, I bet you never thought to see those words drip from my keyboard.’
‘Less alcohol, a better balanced diet and lots of fresh air and exercise. Oh my, I think I need to lie down already just contemplating that lot.’
‘Spouse was threading an extension lead through the letterbox ... I'm going out to hoover the gravel.’
‘It all started with a very small hole in our lawn. 'That's a mousehole,' says spouse. 'Well, they've got to live somewhere,' says I. 'Not in my lawn, they haven't ...'’
‘I was concentrating hard on my task at the church Christmas bazaar and woe betide me if I mucked it up, or I might face the parish firing quad the following week.’
‘Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright ... not in our house it isn't.’
‘How to make a Yorkshireman cry - quite simple really, tell him he's going shopping.’
‘The Cat's Protection League woman came tripping down the garden path. My G&T was promptly whipped out of my hand and hidden in the cupboard. Obviously cats cannot be re-homed where there is Mother's Ruin.’
‘Which brings me on to the subject of astro-physics. Ha, I bet you never thought to see those words drip from my keyboard.’
‘Less alcohol, a better balanced diet and lots of fresh air and exercise. Oh my, I think I need to lie down already just contemplating that lot.’
‘Spouse was threading an extension lead through the letterbox ... I'm going out to hoover the gravel.’
‘It all started with a very small hole in our lawn. 'That's a mousehole,' says spouse. 'Well, they've got to live somewhere,' says I. 'Not in my lawn, they haven't ...'’
‘I was concentrating hard on my task at the church Christmas bazaar and woe betide me if I mucked it up, or I might face the parish firing quad the following week.’
‘Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright ... not in our house it isn't.’
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