A Cunning Plot
Good afternoon dear reader. I hope you are well and in fine fettle on this beautiful afternoon. The weather is amazing and I am not going to complain about it. My garden is looking fantastic, the shrubs and pot plants going hell for leather with their flowers. There now, in true British style, I have mentioned the weather and my garden, hot topics amongst us horticulturally inclined souls.
However, I must leave that much loved topic aside for now as I have other fish to fry and boy I know someone I would like to fry!
Spouse has often formulated the plan that in the happy event of my being kidnapped, he would not immediately pay the ransom demand, he would haggle to get the price down. True Yorkshireman to his bootstrap bottoms as the saying goes.
Obviously, dear reader, I would not regard being kidnapped as a happy event. But Spouse obviously does, especially on the days when life does not go as smoothly as we would like. But then, whose ever does? Not in my Yorkshire Wolds land it doesn’t.
Now I have heard this proposition fondly mooted over the years and not taken too much notice but today… Yes, this very morning, instead of turning his thoughts towards the church and Sunday worship, where were his thoughts? Correct, thoughts of having me kidnapped.
As I have said, I am not too enamoured of this idea. I could be persuaded that he is looking forward to the event. Why this should ever happen I have no idea, just his fond imaginings I hope and also hope, he won’t be doing anything to bring it about in the near or far distant future.
Only… his ideas advance. His Sunday morning ablutions completed, he shoots out of the bathroom, almost cannoning into me as I stroll around the bedroom, thinking of nothing in particular. ‘I’ve had a great idea,’ says he.
Mmm, I never trust his great ideas. They usually spell trouble and in this instance I could be right, especially as it involves me.
The great idea involves not only having me kidnapped, not only refusing to pay the ransom, but… crowdfunding to pay for it. ‘I don’t know how to do it, but I could find out and maybe I could come out with a profit. Great idea!!!’
Really..? Really..? I don’t think he has considered whether I would like this idea or not. I think I need to turn Spouse’s mind to more wholesome ideas and/or keep a keen eye out for any strange persons loitering with intent in the vicinity. One never knows…
Goodbye for now, dear reader and I hope your Sunday and coming week are kind to you and will someone please turn the thermostat down… just sayin.